by Tina Wagner

Lanny Lancaster, Executive Director of Three Oaks Center, in Lexington Park recounts a story of how one Thanksgiving, shortly after he began working at the shelter, a man came to the door with a ham.  Wondering why this person would not walk through the unlocked shelter doors, Lancaster went to the door to open it.   Now, closer to the man, he could clearly see a tear running down his cheek.  Upon opening the door he extended an invitation to the man to enter the shelter, it seemed obvious to Lancaster that the fellow wanted to deliver the ham to the residents of the shelter, perhaps for a Thanksgiving meal.   “No,” the man said explaining that he was a former resident of the shelter, “I cannot come in, I cannot step into the shelter ever again.”  Though Lancaster says he is not sure why this fellow was unable to enter the shelter, he is sure that, “This man was extremely thankful for what the shelter had done for him and he himself wanted to give back.  I believe they were tears of extreme happiness,” he says.

This is one of many stories of folks in the tri-county region who have come and gone through the various shelters in the Southern Maryland region, shelters which provide a haven to those who are simply in a situation that for whatever reason causes them to be without a home.  According to a 2001 study done by the Regional Homeless Prevention Board, the principal organization addressing the needs of the homeless in Southern Maryland, on any given day approximately 108 individuals in the tri-county region are in need of emergency shelter, 318 in need of transitional housing and 498 people in need of permanent supportive housing.   This means that somewhere there needs to be a place that these people are cared for, their situation assessed and a plan to help them set in motion.

Three Oaks Center opened in January of 1996 as a result of concerned citizens in St. Mary’s County who felt a need to help homeless men and men in need of transitional support in the county.  During the shelter’s first year it provided food, shelter, and transitional support to 38 men.  Today, approximately 90 men each year receive these same services.  Because of the leadership of the shelter’s board of directors and staff, and with support from the community, local government, and various organizations and businesses, the shelter has expanded services to assist homeless families and persons with disabilities and looks forward to even further expansion.  Asked how a person ends up needing the services of a homeless shelter, Lancaster is quick to point out that there are many reasons and that each situation is completely different.  He does however, cite frequent reasons as being substance abuse, lack of job training, and for many women, domestic violence.  Once a person enters the Three Oaks program, his or her goals are assessed and plans for meeting the goals are developed.  Each person’s progress is monitored carefully during a case review and future plans are modified as needed.  According to Lancaster, “It is our goal that our clients become 100% independent and able to make it on their own,” he emphasizes.  Volunteers are at the heart of Three Oaks providing services, such as weekend monitoring, that are essential to the success of the program.  Local churches and community organizations make sure that there is a meal at dinnertime and during the holiday season various folks drop by with gifts for the residents of the shelter.  Lancaster is excited about the future of the shelter and says, “ I can see we are getting to a place where we will have the resources to help people find their way out of homelessness because we have people who care.” Not only do Three Oaks staff care, but also some of them have been homeless themselves, making it even easier for them to understand and empathize with the clients they work with. One Three Oaks staff member is a former client of the shelter he now works for.

In 1989 Catholic Charities opened Angel’s Watch Regional Shelter in Hughesville, Maryland the first such shelter in the tri-county region which currently serves all three counties.  According to Regional Director, Denise Capaci, LCSW-C, most people didn’t realize that there was a homelessness problem in the region.  “The homeless don’t always look like the typical homeless we think of on the streets of a big city,” she says.  “In this area they live in places like abandoned sheds, cars, boats, or in overcrowded apartments.”   The shelter, that provides 24  hour emergency shelter for women and their children, has room for 52 people and according to Capaci is full 90 percent of the year. Many of the residents, Capaci explains, spend their days at work, trying to do their best to contribute to the support of themselves and their families.  For those who do not work outside of the shelter they attend therapy sessions, work on improving job skills, and must do chores as assigned during the daytime. “It is our goal that our residents become independent so we try to help them realize what it takes to live.  We expect them to meet a goal of leaving the shelter with enough money for the first and last month’s rent as well as a security deposit, this is about $2,400 in this region,” she says.  Capaci also explains there are strict rules which govern the shelter, such as a 7:00 p.m. curfew, and says that, “There are so many rules because there are so many people.”   A critical part of life at the shelter has to do with teaching the residents the life skills that they will need to survive on their own, “We can do that well here,” Capaci says, “because we are where they live and spend so much time with them.”  Funding for the shelter comes from Catholic Charities as well as from various grants and other sources.  “We must compete for funding,” says Capaci. “It can be a real struggle to fund a program like this, that is why we appreciate so much the support we receive from the community,” she says pointing out that for the past 12 years the evening meal has been provided by a local church or community group - every single night   “We really have the chance to make a difference here,” she says.   It is important also to note that the shelter houses the Southern Maryland Food Bank which provides food to member non-profit agencies feeding the ill, the infirm and the needy in the tri-county area.

Domestic violence is sometimes the reason that some women in the region find themselves unable to remain in their home.  Many times they leave home on a moment’s notice sometimes in order to take a step towards independence from an abusive situation or simply to save their life. During July of 1993, Safe Harbor opened its doors in Prince Frederick, Maryland.  This domestic violence shelter is for women who have been abused emotionally, physically or sexually by their husband or boyfriend.  Women seeking shelter at Safe Harbor may also bring their children if they choose to and approximately 85 percent of the women who enter the shelter and have children do. The need for such a shelter was identified after a study was released by the Calvert County Health Department Abused Persons Program which indicated a need for a residence that abused women could go to in order to determine in a peaceful and secure  environment how to become free of their abuser.   According to Judy Evans, shelter manager, “Domestic violence is extremely unpredictable.  Many times these women are not even able to identify the abuse they have endured.  So Safe Harbor gives them a place and the time to reflect and determine where to go from here.” The facility has eight bedrooms with a total of 30 beds and the staff at the shelter work hard to make sure that families do not have to share a room if at all possible.   “One of our biggest concerns are the children,” adds Evans, “We know that if the children are not freed from these terrible situations that the next generation just plays out the same way.”  While at the shelter, women receive counseling, assistance with transportation, crisis management, case management, and referrals to organizations that may be able to help them make the life change they are so desperately seeking, such as the housing authority, the Calvert County court system, or the Department of  Social Services.  Most of these victims do not have transportation, a job, or much self-esteem as a result of the abuse.  Safe Harbor works diligently with their own professionals and others throughout the region to help these women regain the confidence they need to take a step forward to a new life for themselves and their children, one free of abuse.  “We try to help them regain the confidence they need to go out on their own,” says Evans.  As with the other shelters, Safe Harbor staff appreciates all of the support that they have received from their community.  Volunteers give time, goods, and money, such help that is essential to the continued existence of the shelter.  Many volunteers visit the shelter and play with and read to the children and trained advocates help to support the women in the shelter.

There are many twists and turns on life’s journey and some folks may come to a crossroad where they need a little help, a shelter from the storm.  For those who find they are in such a situation, help is just a phone call away any time during the year.  For others fortunate enough to not have to worry about where they will sleep or how they will feed their family, helping others is only a phone call away.   For more information contact Three Oaks Center at 301-863-9535, Angel’s Watch Regional Shelter at 301-274-0680 or Safe Harbor at 410-257-7225.