 If you've ever had a seemingly irresolvable conflict with a family member,
a neighbor or a landlord (and who hasn't?)-don't get angry, get
mediation.
In a world filled with too much conflict and anger, the mediation
centers located in Calvert, Charles and St. Mary's counties work to
reduce those all-too-frequent losing propositions.
Sharon Dodgins, the director of the Community Mediation Center of St.
Mary's County, wrote a grant to start the Charles County center in 2003.
Grants were then written to start centers in St. Mary's and Calvert
counties.
"Chief Judge Bell started this program for alternative ways of dealing
with conflict because the courts are so overloaded," said Dodgins, who
as a former coordinator for domestic relations in Charles County Circuit
Court was frequently referring clients to mediation.
The tri-county non-profit mediation centers all depend upon volunteer
mediators who must undergo a minimum 40-hour training program.
Volunteers use a "party-driven" transformative model, said Dodgins,
where the neutral mediators meet with involved parties and help to
create "mutually agreeable options and possibilities for solutions."
"The most important thing to know about our mediation style is that we
help people have difficult conversations," said Julie Van Orden, a
volunteer mediator. The parties involved "are the ones that resolve
their own issues, we just facilitate. If I'm upset with my landlord, I
just need to call the mediation center and they call the other party.
And it's all free. Normally, you'd pay anywhere between $150 to $250 for
mediation."
According to Dodgins, mediation works in approximately 85 percent to 90
percent of all cases. The usually two-hour mediation process is
"empowering people" and the "biggest benefit is to preserve
relationships in the community and in families," she said.
A classic mediation result is one in which the parties enter upset and
nervous, but leave "with their arms around each other; able to express
feelings openly and honestly and appreciate each other's needs," said
Calvert County's mediation center Executive Director Anne Mychalus.
Teen mediator Tess Van Orden has also experienced powerful and healing
results from her mediation sessions that typically involve adult/teen
conflicts. During her last mediation, three girls had been having issues
at school. "The school told them they couldn't go back to school until
they worked this out," said Tess. "The three showed up with at least two
family members each." With three mediators present, the participants
started off yelling at each other. "We could barely keep order," said
Tess, but when one of the girl's mothers "stepped in and held her
daughter accountable, people started apologizing. It went from screaming
and yelling to apologizing."
Tess, whose mother is also a mediator, said she took on this veritable
challenge after her mother heard about the program. At only 16 years of
age, Tess has already participated in numerous mediations. "I thought
that it would be really interesting. I was raised with open
communication," she said. After participating in a mediation session,
Tess said, "I feel a sense of happiness-I know they'll have a better
understanding of each other."
Some of the major benefits of mediation, according to Dodgins, include
its privacy and confidentiality. Also, she said, mediation is quick,
convenient and free. According to mediation center surveys, 85 percent
of people who have used mediation feel they have improved their
situation.
Some of the typical situations and people that benefit from mediation
include feuding neighbors, landlords and tenants, friends, roommates,
co-workers, families, businesses and parties to lawsuits.
"If there's one thing we can do in teaching people skills it's how to
end that win-lose confrontation," said Mychalus. She said the goal is to
help disagreeing parties to work together and compromise because "there
are better ways to solve problems more peacefully."
Tri-County Mediation Centers
Community Mediation Center
of Calvert County
P.O. Box 807
Solomons, Md. 20688
(410) 610-2650
calvert (at) marylandmediation.org
Community Mediation Center
of Charles County
P.O. Box 563
Hughesville, Md. 20637
(301) 290-0098
charlescounty (at) marylandmediation.org
Community Mediation Center
of St. Mary's County
P.O. Box 853
41620 Court House Drive (Rear Entrance)
Leonardtown, Md. 20650
(301) 475-9118 Fax: (301) 394-1971 |
